As men striving to be our best selves, we often focus on personal growth, career success, and relationships. But what about the unique challenges of raising neurodivergent children? Whether you're a father of a neurodivergent child or simply want to be a supportive friend or family member, understanding neurodivergence is crucial in today's world.
I recently had an enlightening conversation with Kim Pomares from Mendability, who shared valuable insights on parenting neurodivergent children. Let's dive into what we learned and how it can help us become better fathers, friends, and members of our community.
Demystifying Neurodivergence
First things first, what exactly does "neurodivergent" mean? Simply put, it describes individuals whose brains function differently from what society considers "typical." This can include conditions like autism, ADHD, dyslexia, and more.
Kim emphasized an important point: neurodivergence isn't about being broken or wrong. It's about experiencing the world through a different lens. As men, we need to challenge our assumptions and recognize that our reality isn't the only valid one.
The Sensory World of Neurodivergent Children
One of the most fascinating aspects of neurodivergence is how it affects sensory processing. Kim explained that many neurodivergent individuals experience the world more intensely:
"Their brain is processing everything at the same level of importance. And this, that's why they get overloaded and overstimulated is because there's this light and this light and that light and that sound and that sound and that thing. They're seeing and feeling everything all the time."
This heightened awareness can be both a challenge and a strength. While it may lead to overstimulation, it also means they don't miss details that others might overlook.
Strategies for Parenting Neurodivergent Kids
As fathers, we want to support our children in the best way possible. Here are some key strategies Kim shared for parenting neurodivergent kids:
1. Embrace the Stim
"Stimming" or self-stimulatory behavior is common among neurodivergent individuals. It might look like hand-flapping, rocking, or repetitive movements. Instead of trying to stop these behaviors, Kim advises allowing them:
"Just let them stim. Let me. It hasn't hurt anybody."
Remember, stimming is often a way for neurodivergent individuals to self-regulate and manage overwhelming sensations.
2. Understand the Need for Movement
Many neurodivergent children have an intense need to move. This isn't about being disobedient; it's about regulating their brain chemistry. Kim explained that movement helps manage dopamine levels in the brain. Instead of constantly telling a child to sit still, find ways to incorporate movement into their day.
3. Create a Sensory-Friendly Environment
Kim introduced us to the concept of sensory enrichment therapy. This approach uses sensory experiences to enhance brain function and promote calm. Here's a simple technique you can try at home:
Introduce a pleasant smell (like essential oils or coffee)
Play calming music
Show beautiful visuals (like an art slideshow)
Provide a soothing tactile experience (like a back scratch)
This combination of sensory inputs can help regulate emotions and reduce stress for both neurodivergent children and adults.
Shifting Our Perspective
Perhaps the most important takeaway from my conversation with Kim was the need to shift our perspective. As men, we often pride ourselves on being problem-solvers. But when it comes to neurodivergence, there might not be a "problem" to solve.
Instead of trying to make our neurodivergent children fit into a neurotypical world, we should focus on understanding their unique experiences and needs. Kim put it beautifully:
"The world is a beautiful place and if you can enjoy it, everybody would be happier."
Taking Action
So, how can we, as men, support the neurodivergent individuals in our lives? Here are some actionable steps:
Educate yourself: Learn more about neurodivergence and specific conditions. Knowledge is power.
Practice patience: Remember that neurodivergent individuals might process information differently. Give them the time they need.
Create supportive environments: Implement sensory-friendly strategies at home or in your workplace.
Challenge stereotypes: Speak up against misconceptions about neurodivergence in your community.
Celebrate differences: Recognize and appreciate the unique strengths and perspectives of neurodivergent individuals.
By taking these steps, we can create a more inclusive world not just for our children, but for everyone. Remember, true strength lies in understanding, empathy, and adaptability. As we strive to be our best selves, let's ensure we're creating a world where everyone, regardless of neurotype, can thrive.
To dive deeper in to the conversation of raising Neurodivergent children be sure to check out our full interview with Kim Pomares of Menability.
We discuss:
The true nature of neurodivergence and why labels can be limiting
How to recognize early signs that your child might process the world differently
The power of sensory enrichment therapy in boosting brain function
Practical strategies for creating a supportive environment at home
Whether you're a parent seeking answers or simply interested in understanding neurodiversity better, this conversation offers invaluable insights to help you navigate the beautiful complexities of the neurodivergent mind.
You can directly go to your favorite Podcast Platform or listen here
Or catch the full video on YouTube
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